superbrowns's Blog

March 2, 2008 -- Deceit, thy name is woman.

Most females lie "more cleverly and successfully than men" about everything from infidelity and facelifts to barhopping and shopping binges, according to a new book.

"Women lie as a survival technique, but also to get what they want," said Susan Shapiro Barash, author of "Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie," published by St. Martin's Press this week.

Barish said a Rockland County woman stripped of her secrets on Fox TV's reality show "Moment of Truth" last week proves her research true.

Lauren Cleri, 26, admitted on air she had cheated on her NYPD cop husband and preferred an ex-boyfriend. But she failed a polygraph, and lost $200,000, by answering "yes" when asked if she believed she was a good person.

"It supports my thesis that women are talented at lying - but perhaps not enough to pass a lie-detector test," Barash said.

Barash interviewed 500 women nationwide who answered her Craigslist ads seeking females to confide what they fib about. Among her findings:

* 75 percent lie about how much money they spend. For instance, they sneak purchases inside their homes after shopping or hide the price tags.

* 50 percent harbor "mixed feelings about mothering." One told Barash, "I look at these children and I crave sleep and free time. They wear me out and make me jealous of working women who have no children, no husbands."

* More than 60 percent cheated on their husbands. A 32-year-old mother conducted her trysts while telling her trusting husband she was working late. Even in asking for a divorce, she withheld the truth: "I didn't say I had fallen for another man. He was better off with my lies."

Many women use the "betterment lie," as Barash calls it, as a means to an end.

A 30-year-old model romanced a middle-aged married man for the money. After snagging him, she faked her affections: "I say 'I love you,' and don't mean it."

Some lie to cover up childhood incest or domestic abuse, or taboo behavior like drinking, gambling or Internet-porn addiction.

More than 80 percent believe in "beneficial lying." A New Jersey mom doesn't tell her well-behaved daughter about her own wild teen years of marijuana and partying.

Urban women favor the "competitive lie," Barash said. "You lie about money and cosmetic surgery. Your out-of-work husband is a 'consultant.' You embellish your kids' accomplishments, or downplay their SAT tutoring."

In the "lying to yourself" category, the book mentions Hillary Rodham Clinton, who as first lady went on TV to blast the Monica Lewinsky scandal as a political attack against her husband. She later acknowledged Bill's cheating.

Others lie because "there's too much to lose," Barash said. Rudy Giuliani's wife, Judith, guarded a secret that she was married twice, and not once, previously. The truth, which Rudy apparently knew, hit the front pages when he ran for president.