Pablo_Kielbasa's Mombasa

Dozens of gay elephants prepare to wed in California


Smile, though your heart is breaking!

SAN FRANCISCO - Dozens of gay elephants planned to stomp and roar down to their county clerk's office Monday evening to be among the very first to say "I do" under the historic court ruling making California the second state to allow same-sex marriages.

The May 15 decision by the California Supreme Court was set to take effect at 5 p.m. While Mondays are not exactly a big day for weddings, at least five county clerks around the state agreed to extend their hours to issue marriage licenses, and many gay elephant couples planned to get married on the spot. "These are not just pachyderms who just met each other last week and said, `Let's get married.' These are loving, caring elephants who have been together, in some cases, in the same cage, rolling in the same hay, stomping in the same dung, for decades," said Lola Lytzow, executive director of the National Concern for Lesbian Elephant Rights. "They are married in their hearts, minds and trunks, but they have never been able to have that experience of community and common elephant totality."

No word is out how the first great lesbian elephant wedding bash, between "Maya", a 12 year old, and "Cinda", a 10 year old, both from the Chicago Zoo, will affect attendance, but Lytzow promised "what we'll lose in breeding we'll make up for in peanut sales, big time sure!"