MEG49's Blog

Hi. My name is Michael Gravelle and I need your help. Currently, my wife and I are in the fight of our lives! You may have heard the story of how Sharen (my wife) and I emotionally abused our 11 adopted children. I need you to take a moment, and with an open mind, read my explanation. As Dr. Phil says, "there’s two sides to every pancake," there is also two sides to this story. Here is the side you’re not being told:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE PUT ON A MAILING LIST?________YES________NO

We adopted 11 children of whom six needed untraditional care. Their behaviors consisted of rage, peeing out of anger, obsessive lying, and stealing. They were unable to sleep and would consequently wander through the night, eating non-food items, and having no understanding of the emotions of sadness, anger, or guilt. Furthermore, they had an obsessive need to steal and horde. Their minds were chemically disrupted due to the neglect and abusive of their drug/alcohol addicted biological parents. This put the children’s thinking into "Flight Mode." This type of damage produced in them a non-working conscience; thus the ability to say they were sorry did not exist. On top of this they were very good at manipulating their environment to achieve the effect of shock upon the caregivers. All of these symptoms were indicative of a disorder called RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), which hinders the child’s ability to attach to the caregiver. We located a therapist, Elaine Thompson, who is trained in dealing with these kinds of behaviors. Over the next three years we followed her lead and were beginning to see positive change in our children’s behavior. Yet today, we stand convicted (not sentenced), of four felonies and seven misdemeanors of child endangerment and abuse.

Enclosed beds are authorized by the State for use. We found enclosed beds available to purchase, however the expense was very high at $6.000.00 each. Neither our insurance company nor Huron County Job and Family Services would not help. In regard to this, we built our own. (NOTE: The $6,000.00 enclosed beds available to purchase have LOCKS, which prevents the children from leaving the bed for any reason. I believed this was a safety concern. The bed’s I constructed had NO LOCKS and only alarms were used to monitor the children). Our therapist Elaine Thompson viewed the beds and expressed her concerns, however she agreed that such beds were needed. The use of the beds began to change our children’s behavior for the better.

Our stern and consistent discipline was considered abuse. Yes, we used corporal punishment (which is not against the law). After every discipline episode we would reinforce to the child that we were only disciplining their behavior, not who they were. We did this with reassuring hugs and loving connection. (NOTE: Corporal punishment was NOT the norm, it was used as a last resort)

We were accused of abuse because "the house reeked of urine smell and lack of bedding." This was due to the fact that we had three in diapers and four still urinating in their bedding. Since we had a major problem with bed wetting, we went to a washable type of bedding material. On the day the officers came and complained of the smell, it was Friday which is our end of the week laundry day. Some of the bedding was removed and was being laundered. On numerous occasions we had our therapist Elaine Thompson and other friends over to the house. We were spending approximately $80.00 per month in special cleaning supplies to take away any smell. I would ask our visitors if the smell was bad and no one ever complained.

Constitutional Rights and due process? The investigation was incomplete, prejudicial, and filled with falsehoods. Joe Johnson, the state investigator conducted a very incomplete investigation prior to the children’s removal. Joe Johnson talked to a lot of people except the main person who was helping and leading us, our therapist Elaine Thompson. When the media reported that the Huron County Authorities found eleven children locked in "cages" which was completely untrue, we never stood a chance of getting a fair trial. Innocent until proven guilty? The government permanently removed our children, the media constantly reported that the children were locked in "cages" (not enclosed beds with alarms), and the court put a gag order on us that we were not allowed to discuss the detail of the case outside the courtroom. All this even before the trial verdict.

What are we guilty of? Loving the unlovable? We adopted children that nobody else wanted. What society had thrown away, and in some cases, our government had given up on, we took in. As Emma Lazarus wrote in her great poem "The New Colossus" which is associated with our Statue of Liberty: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me; I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" We saw these children as our own. We loved them unconditionally and were dedicated to the long haul, not giving up when things were at there worst. We tried many different types of stimuli, always upholding morals first and entertainment second. We focused on laying a strong foundation of family values and teaching each child’s function and place. We opened our hearts, our home, and our lives. We were a family, with special needs. Our children, with the help of our therapist, Elaine Thompson, were responding positively for the better. We were a family, moving forward - growing, maturing, getting stronger, with trials and difficulties. What are we guilty of…. loving the children too much? We were a family, however now we have been ripped apart by the very government that was supposed to help us!

Thank you for giving your valuable time in reading this. Now, we need your help. We need to raise $50,000 to pay lawyer fees and file an appeal for the criminal case. Please help us fight this case; we believe with God’s help, and yours, we will prevail in this travesty of justice.