Hittokiri's Hara-Kiri Forum

It can't be true...

Since the N-word has come back into controversy, I though I might suggest what might be an answer. I unfortunatly think this might be nessacary to hit home what the word really means to those that want to use it.

 Do a live reenactment of a black lynching featuring full use of the N-word.  Post this on Youtube and let classrooms all over the country and forums all over the web see it before responding to the N-word controversy.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started ..

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started ..

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I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it - he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started ..

I recently went to a Karate seminar in Illinois, it was in a city called Tinley Park (the same city with the Lane Bryant shooting). Upon doing some research I found that the city was 93% white, which surprised me that seems almost unheard of in this day and age. What surprised me more was to see that Jeremiah Wright (Barack Obama's former pastor) is having a house built there. So it begs the question, was all the stuff about him just republican spin, or is he a hypocrite?


On a personal note about my visit there I must say the city is really nice, the traffic lights are rather quick but the city is beautiful, I must also thank the city for a having a restaurant chain called Boston's there, the food was awesome and I hope they open one around here soon.

I am a loyal Indians fan but seriously, I look at them and sometimes I just see a farm team for the rest of the league. They take somebody, make them good, and trade them off... heck of a way to win championships. I understand C.C. was in the last year of his contract and would have been a free agent at the end of the year.... but did they have to trade him for a couple of AAA players. They could have at least got somebody good, or got money to sign someone like Kenny or Trot.

I know have the story of the ultimate idiocy from the state and from bureaucracy.

Upon arriving at my school earlier this week, I noticed that the door had a couple of floor mats in front to of it to keep the door open, however it wasn't working to well.  I really didn't think to much of it (famous last words as far as I'm concerned). Then I overheard something that just bugged me, and still does. The school was told to remove the door stops from its doors because they were.... get this.... a fire hazard! These weren't the wedges you stick in front of a door, these are the swivel down kind that are attached to the door. I have no idea why they (whoever they are, I'm guessing the fire department) made this decision. If anything these door stops should be a requirement, they keep the door open which in the event of fire keep the door out of the way of people trying to exit the building, I would say the door is a bigger fire hazard than a door stop.

Are we strangling ourselves? I think so, no need to worry about some serial killer doing it, we are already strangling ourselves.

We know that just about everything in nature cycles itself, from water to oxygen to nitrogen to carbon. However I think we are strangling ourselves by using fossil fuels, or at least we will. Even though carbon cycles, much of it is stored in the form of fossil fuels, in the ground and not in the atmosphere, but if we keep burning it and adding it to the air our air will become diluted. It is comparable to having a small home water fountain, the water cycles around, in this case it is the carbon already in the atmosphere. Now imagine if you will taking a gallon of water (representing the carbon in the earth), and pouring it into that little water fountain, it is now over flowing. Take this into context of real life, instead of having a small mess to clean up, we now have less breathable air. We are now choking. Will this happen? I don't know, it is just an interesting thought that occurred to me.

   what do you think?

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now
be worth $49.00.
 
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.
 
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
 
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would have
$49.00 left.
 
If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.
 
But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you
would have $214.00.
 
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

THIS IS CALLED THE 401-KEG PLAN.

Beware people, voting left will be a big mistake. Why? you ask. Because in an increasingly desperate day and age people look more and more to comedy. What does this have to do with your vote? you ask. Simple if we have a Republican comedians have loads and loads of materials, it never end the when the Republicans are in office.  Sure you could vote for Barrack and there would be an initial surge of jokes for him, but they would quickly die. All the "no black president" jokes will be irrelevant. You would have a week of "wanted: white house chef needed who can cook low and slow" and "White house gets new paint job" jokes, but that would be it. So..

A Democrat in office is not a funny thing!
Vote Republican...... your laugh depends on it.








lol

Here is an optical illusion

-follow the movement, everything should look fine
- Look at the + but still follow the movement, a green dot will start moving around the circle
- keep your eyes on the + and the dots should disappear



obviously the dots neither turn green nor disappear, but this is a neat illusion

Ever wondered what happened to the guy on Mad magazine.

John McCain is a danger to our rights and to our safety. McCain is a extremist protestant. McCain is against extreme sports (most notably MMA), is against contraception, would enforce bad education policies, deny health care to those who need it, and would ban stem cell research (which could save the lives of those with horrible diseases). .... wait we already have all this, courtesy of George W.

Can we trust a person who is backed by extremist pastors.  Pastors like John Hagee, who made claims that the Nazi did what God wanted. But that's not all pastor Rod Parsley who has called Islam an inherently violent religion, also supports McCain.



If by now you haven't realized this post is a spoof on the anti-Obama posts. Obama isn't the only one with pastor problems. It's easy to make these claims that someone is a religious zealot by stretching the truth about their religion and their beliefs. The only difference between McCain and Obama in this comparisons is that Obama isn't actually Muslim. And to those who note that his parents were, I say it doesn't matter. Just because somebodies parents are in one religion doesn't mean they are. Religious views can change between generations. I can say that from experience, my parents are Catholic, I was raised as one, went to catholic school for 8 years, but I'm an agnostic and so are my sisters.  If you want to claim that Obama didn't practice Islam say that he could say that he wasn't Muslim and get into office, think of how absurd that plan sounds.

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

I say: what's the big deal, he bought a security system with taxpayer money, do we not pay plenty of skilled people armed with guns and sophisticated electronic equipment to protect the president for millions a year,  you know the secrete service.

Events of 1997 3/12
March

* indicates my note
~ indicates Handbook note

1; Thunderstorms and tornadoes, sweeping across Arkansas, Mississippi, Kentucky, West Virginia, and Ohio, leave 48 people dead.

5; Clinton Administration Officials admit that Margaret A. Williams, Hillary Rodham Clinton's chief of staff, accepted- in the White House in 1995- a $50,000 campaign donation to the Democratic Party from Johnny Chung, a California businessman. Federal Law prohibits solicitation or receipt of political contributions in government offices.

6; China's legislature revises the nation's criminal code for the first time since 1979, introducing laws regulating insider trading and money laundering and elimination laws covering a variety of "counterrevolutionary" crimes.

7; The most severe flooding along the Ohio River since 1964 crests at Louisville, Kentucky, 15.7 feet (4.8 meters) above flood stage. It leaves 29 people dead and tens of thousands homeless in West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Tennessee, and Kentucky.

8; Hostage crisis negotiations between Peruvian officials and the Tupac Amaru collapse when the Marxist rebels discover that government security police are digging a tunnel beneath the Japanese ambassador's residence in Lima, the capital, where the Tupac Amaru have held 72 people hostage since Dec. 17, 1996.

10; The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) issues a statement flatly refuting President Bill Clinton's claim, made during a news conference earlier in the day, that the FBI had warned White House officials in 1996 that China might be attempting to illegally funnel money into U.S. political campaigns.

11; The U.S. Senate approves a measure to investigate "Illegal and improper" campaign fund-raising activities in the executive and legislative branches of the government.

12; Japanese Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto publicly apologizes for his government's "inadequate" response to a March 11 fire that triggered an exposing 21 workers to low-level radiation. A similar accident in December 1995 at Monju, Japan's only fastbreeder reactor, triggered widespread criticism of Japans's Nuclear industry.

13; A 23-year-old Jordanian soldier opens fire on a group of Israeli junior-high school girls visiting Naharayim. Seven girls die and six are wounded before the attacker is subdued.

In Tirane, the capital of Albania, looters carry off the remains of the city's dwindling food supply, while the police arm civilians in the hope that they will defend the government of authoritarian ruler Sali Berisha, who refuses to resign the presidency. The U.S. State Department warns that all Americans in Albania should leave immediately.

14; The Giant food corporation H.J. Heinz announces that it will lay off 2,500 employees- 5.8 percent of its work force- shut down at least 25 domestic and international plants, and sell its frozen-foods subsidiary, Ore-Ida foods Incorporated.

15; Zairian rebels take the important, eastern city of Kisangani, a Congo River port of more than 300,000 residents, from the Zairian army, which puts up token resistance. Kasangani's fall signals the downfall of President Mobutu Sese Seko, who has ruled Zaire for 31 years.

17; Anthony Lake, President Bill Clinton's nominee for Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) director, withdraws his name from consideration after his confirmation, delayed for three months, is threatened with additional delays by the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee.

18; The Presidential Advisory Committee on Gulf War Veterans' illnesses, a panel charged with investigation illnesses associated with the Persian Gulf War, presents evidence that the March 1991 demolition of an enemy ammunition dept in Iraq released clouds of nerve gas. The gas may have spread as far as 165 miles (265 kilometers) in a southerly direction, exposing hundreds of thousands of American troops to low doses of toxic chemicals.

20; The Ligger Group, Inc, which manufactures the Chesterfield, L & M, and Lark brands of cigarettes, acknowledges that tobacco is addictive and causes cancer. The Legit spokesperson also concedes that tobacco companies historically have marketted their products to minors in an attempt to lure children as young as 14 years old into a lifetime smoking habit.

24; Director of the Kenya Wildlife Service David Western announces his support for lifting the 20-year ban on big-game hunting on private land in order to cull overpopulations of such non endangered species as zebra, antelope, and wart hogs, which overrun farmers' fields.

25;The Federal Reserve banking system, under the leadership of Chairman Alan Greenspan, votes to raise interet rates for the first time in more than two years.

26; The bodies of 39 mass suicide victims are discovered in a mansion in the San Diego suburb of Rancho Santa Fe. The dead- 21 women and 18 men- belonged to a cult named Heaven's Gate. They apparently had believed that a space ship traveling behind Comet Hale-Bopp, visible in the night sky, would pick up and transport then to a better world.

29; A dozen tornadoes rampage through Tennessee, leaving more than 40 people homeless. In Chattanooga, tornadoes snap tree and utility poles designed to withstand winds of up to 160 miles per hour (270 kilometers per hour). Two people were killed when the same series of storms cut through Indiana and Kentucky late on March 28.