-JT-'s Blog

 Ok, the primary election has been going for for just about a year now, and the presidential election is STILL  almost eight months away.

  Is this something new ? Did I miss a meeting ?  Didn't they used to do all this campaigning in 6-8 months ? What is the point of all this ?

 And you KNOW what's gonna happen next time. They're gonna start campaigning EVEN EARLIER.

 Before the TV stations announce a winner of November's Presidential Election, people are gonna announce their candidacy for the 2012 Presidential Election.

 And, to top it all off, I saw on the news that it doesn't really matter how many states and delegates Hilary or Barack win, the outcome will be determined by the "Superdelegates" anyway.

 "Superdelegates" ?

  I guess they're a secret society of people with leotard pants and skin-tight t-shirts and Zorro masks and capes and elf shoes ?

 Okay, fine. Strap them into chairs (like in the movie "A Clockwork Orange") and stick "Pulp Fiction" balls in their mouths and let them experience all this campaigning from beginning to end and tell us how it turns out.

 And while we're at it, let them be "Supertaxpayers" too and free us from THAT burden.

 If you're gonna take the benefit, take the responsibilty, too.

  Ok, relax, "Dooperdelegates", I have another idea. (Like the FIRST one was ever gonna come to fruition)...

 

        To date, the Clinton Campaign has spent $105 Million Dollars.

     The Obama Campaign has spent $113 Million Dollars.

     I'm guessing the McCain Campaign has spent a similar amount.

   And I'm sure all of the other candidates that appeared and disappeared have spent over $100 Mil combined, if not more.

   In future elections, candidates can raise unlimited funds, but thet cannot spend ANY of it.( More on that later)

     The election process as we know it will no longer exist. ( I think that has already happened, anyway)

    In future primary elections...

 1. Candidates will have to spend a week in Chef Ramsay's Kitchen

 2. Appear on American Idol

 3. Spend a week on a deserted island with a nail clipper and a roll of duct tape.

The votes from these 3 Events will Determine the winners.

 After the Primary Election...

  The 2 Main Candidates ...

    1. Appear on "Don't Forget the Lyrics"

          a) The songs being....

           The Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful.

          if the candidate misses ONE word, he or she is IMMEDIATELY deported.

    

           2. Appear on "Moment of Truth".......

        "Question One- Do you think your plan will actually get to the bottom of anything"?

    Candidate " Well, Blah-Blah blah etc. etc. ad infititum....."

    "That answer is.... BOOM !"

    "Uh- Senator, not only was your answer NOT True, our Truth Machine just landed on the Moon".

     I guess you're wondering what about all the money the candidates raise ?

     According to my calculations, there is enough money to buy every American citizen a lottery ticket and a donut.

  Hey, at least this way we would get SOMETHING out of the deal.